Bad Movie Night: A Tradition

How to prep for Bad Movie Nights:

1. Plan it with your friends: if they are up to the challenge, or if they want to practice Bulimia, or if you just wanna have a silly time.
2. Plan on a place: A friend’s apartment, house, anywhere with Netflix or access to streaming movies to a big screen.
3. Plan possible movies: Movies that you hear are really bad or go to Rotten Tomato, or IMDB to check on scores. IMDB even has a bottom 100 movies. Discuss that with your Bad Movie Night members.
4. Plan a Date: Anytime everyone is free after a certain hour. We do Tuesdays or Thursdays at around 8pm.
5. Plan on what food you’ll want to eat. In my Tradition I’ll cook up some Salmon with rice and corn, with a little bit of sparkling cider.

I remember the horrible duck puns, the cranky, sadistic duck who acted as if his tail feathers had been shoved up his butt as a magical portal whisped him off the Lucasfilm duck parody planet. For no reason mind you and he ended up in a little in an obscure town of Cleveland.  Bad Movie Night, is a time to watch awful movies, have a few laughs with your friends or family members, and if the movie is atrocious, then you can share the memories of what it is like to be preferred to be drinking molten lava, or excessively punched in the stomach.

For my Bad Movie Night friends and I, Howard the Duck is undoubtedly and the single omnipotent worst movie ever. Of course we’ve watched other bad movies but they only ever were just so bad they were mediocre. But Howard the Duck will live in infamy in my heart, I remember it all too well. We didn’t know what to expect but it had Tim Robbins from the Shawshank Redeption and Lea Thompson from Back to the Future, and a bad score on IMDB. Yet, we hadn’t originally heard anything about it, we just happened to stumble upon it by sheer fate and we found that it would devastate our eyeballs and make us cringe, even to this day.

We quickly caught on that this movie might be special, in the way wanted it off but we had to know what came next! That’s the mystery that Bad Movie Night brings, until it pushes you too far. Howard was dropped to Earth from the phenomenon of an inexplicable act of universal proportions. There he runs around like a frightened chicken! And he winds up at a bar saving the life of Lea Thompson with his…sigh…Quackfu. He wins against these “punk” guys and wins an apartment invitation with Lea’s character. Shortly after he tells Lea’s band manager to take a hike and beats him up. Next Howard out of the blue wants to know how he got to Earth and whines and complains and hisses) fits at children in public. That’s where Tim Robbins comes in, a scientist obsessed with the universe, well, obsesses with Howard. Because he’s a duck…alien…thing. Had it not been for Tim Robbins’ performance, the character wouldn’t be as enjoyable to watch. Now we’re 45 minutes in and there is absolutely NO plot or conflict whatsoever. And we get to the point where Lea’s character is about to do the nasty with Howard because of…wait wait wait, no. A duck and a human?! I’M DONE! WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS MY LIFE?! YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE DUDE! YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT! YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF “WHAT AM I WILLING TO PUT UP WITH TODAY?” NOT THIS!

And so before that could fill our screen, my friend rose from the couch holding eyes and ran out of the apartment, my other friend threw his hat on the ground and we soon followed, turning off the TV and leaving to go to Safeway for comfort food. On the way back I asked my friend if he wanted to spend the night at the park across the street because I didn’t want to go back. This movie made me want to run away from my life completely and no other movie has ever achieved that.

And so, I ask you the reader; what is the worst movie you’ve ever seen? In fact, make a top ‘worst movies I’ve ever seen’ list and leave it in the comments section. Horrible movies are an experience and we all share the pain of horrible movies.

My Top Worst Movies Ever:
1. Howard the Duck (1986)
2. Mac and Me (1988)
3. Gigli (2003)
4. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)
5. LOL (2012)
6. Troll 2 (1990)
7. Glitter (2001)
8. Cool as Ice (1991)
9. Little Monsters (1989)
10. Judge Dredd (1995)
11. Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo (1984)
12. Leonard Part 6 (1987)
13. Judy Moody and the not Bummer Summer (2011)